One day, I am certain, you will think about what you were like as a little child. It may be because you’re just curious [you are] or because you feel like you don’t know yourself very well [everyone does at some time].
You may wonder if you are very different now from what you were once, way back in your history, back in that place where your memory can’t go. How far can you remember?
I’m sure that one day you will ask yourself: have I always been this way?
Whatever your reasons, know that it is good to look at one’s life, from time to time, as if you were outside of time, as if time were a line you could see from afar.
For example: today is your first birthday. You are just learning to speed up, and I am just learning to slow down. Did you see how I looked at both of our lives from outside of the present moment?
It’s interesting. Give it a try.
You are learning to become very active, and I am learning to wind down. You are learning to look at everything with new eyes, and touch everything with new hands.
Sometimes I imagine what’s going on inside your thoughts as you meet the world.
If you want to know how you were as a toddler, the most important thing for you to know is that you were [are] loved. You are loved by everyone around you.
I have to hold myself back from picking you up by the back of your neck with my teeth, like cats do to their young.
I’ve saved your life a few times, you know, getting home just as Your Mother was about to eat you up. She really does want to eat every little part of you. And I’m not sure she will always be able to contain herself…
Your grandparents also squeeze you any chance they get, and you’ve given them extra space in their hearts.
You can be a very serious little boy; not easily amused and not to be trifled with. You demand attention with a booming voice. BAAAAHH!! BAAAHH!
I find this quite effective and I’ve started using it to communicate with people at my office. BAAHHH! BAAAAHHH!
You love to be thrilled; whereupon you shriek. And you talk yourself to sleep, or maybe you’re talking to angels?
But mostly you’re a very curious little chap – an explorer, fearless on the slides yet cautious on the steps. You love new people but don’t like to be crowded.
You go with the flow, as long as I or Your Mother are around, somewhere in the background. You are open to other people, and they are drawn to you.
More so than most other children you come into contact with, you are gentle, and kind. You give me the glass to drink from, and sometimes you shove your food into my mouth.
For days I’ve searched for the right words to say here to you. But someone’s already said them before, and there’s no shame in using someone else’s words when they are so perfect for how you feel.
So here is my message to you on your first birthday my son, from a song I love called “Stand Inside Your Love”
Travel the world, traverse the skies; your home is here within my heart
I feel as though I am reborn; recast as child in mystic sun
I’ll wrap my wire around your heart and you’re mine
You’re mine forever.