Praying for Poop

My kingdom for your poop,

If you poop, daddy will buy you a pony, a race car, an aeroplane.

When you poop you are happy. Don’t you want to be happy?

Daddy will be happy if you poop. Don’t you want to make daddy happy?

Daddy and mommy feed you, bathe you, soothe you, caress you, kiss you a thousand blessings, bounce you on a big ball,

And all we ask in return is that you poop.

I know it’s hard. I know it’s new to you, and you’re still trying to figure out how to use your new body.

I see you trying, straining your little stomach muscles, pushing it down, trying to get it out. You try so hard.

But my son, here’s the secret: Like so much in life, you’ll learn, things happen easier when you relax, when you let them happen.

So poop my little man. Relax, and poop.

Because when you poop the angels smile, and all is good in our house.

Because when you poop we can all go to sleep. You love to sleep. We love to sleep. Everyone loves to sleep.

Poop my child.



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